Christmas 2014

The Friday before Reid was born my mom watched Caden so I could get all the Christmas shopping done..and luckily so, because Reid wasn't expected for at least another week. We have, and plan to continue, doing four items and simple stockings for the kids. I say kids now, but let's me honest, Reids gift this year was all my sleep hours used up to care for his cute little self.

Something you want, need, wear, and read. And then some race cars, a personalized Mickey Mouse cd, and a cookie or something in the stocking. We picked out the want this year, probably for the last year, and just went off of what you like to do..so we had want: mini hot wheels monster truck toy, need: plates/bowls just for you, wear: mickey slippers (that you don't and won't wear...), read: a veggie tails book.

It's funny how hard it is to even stick to just four and stocking when you see so many fun things out there that you want to get your kid and think they'll enjoy playing with, but aiming at the bigger picture here. Your price range for wants/need/read will grow, too, so this way we can hopefully manage to reasonably get what you want and not have to confuse you with a drop in gift amounts along the way. Plus, the kids are surrounded by family that are great gift givers so there's always those bonuses, too.

Right now Caden is obsessed with 'groceries'. He loves grocery shopping and helping us out, he loves to play with fake groceries, just loves it. My parents got him a little Walmart basket with groceries in it, and we found him fast asleep Christmas Eve surrounded by all his groceries. Ridiculous and so cute.

 

 

He got Thomas and Cars plates/bowls. I stopped taking pictures after this so we could enjoy the moment more, so that's all I have for our Christmas morning.

We went to Christmas Eve Eve service this year and Uncle Drew came over after, bringing a cool, 'little' airplanes toy.

It was a busy and tiring time this year having such a little newborn and being tired from all that comes with that, and Caden boycotted naps during both family days so that added to the feeling of being worn out, but we had a good Christmas this year. Of course our own little blessing of Reid, and our first Christmas as a family of four-can't get much better than that!

Merry Christmas from the Lee's, 2014.

January 2015

Well, it's already April and I have blogged little to none this year. I have started many blogs in my head, but something always seems to come up or I haven't found the time to actually type it out and put pen to paper...or in this day and age, keyboard to internet. So, aside from a few more specific posts, I think I'll just have to do a quick recap of our recent months and call it good, hopefully making more time to get on here more in the future...

These past few months were all good to us. March was a little crazy, but overall it's been good. Busy with a newborn in the house, keeping up with both boys, adjusting to working from home and finding a good balance between our new family of four, immediate family, and friends. Time sure does fly by quick these days.

 

We got a beautiful snow fall in January. It was soft, fluffy and so pretty. It was cold, but not too cold while it fell, which allowed us to sneak outside for a quick observation before bundling up more and enjoying it. I love to see Cadens reaction towards new things and this was the first year we got to play in the snow together, more so during a February snow fall, and it was a blast. He's at such a fun age and has a great sense of humor, always ready to play and have fun!

 

He looks so tiny here. There are many moments I think, wow, Caden is getting so big, and then in different settings it shrinks him down again and my heart can take a quick breath of relief that my baby isn't a teenage boy right before my eyes...just yet at least. Never fear, need help shoveling? Our toddler is on the job! No matter what we may be doing, he is always wanting to try to do it and help us out. Luckily, God has given us a good insight on patience and we've, thus far, been good at letting him help to the extent that he can. It makes us stop, and slow down, not getting things done nearly as fast or accurately, but definitely so worth it.

 

After Reid was born I ventured out one night to get some groceries and some things to pass the time and entertain Caden at home. So, to start I got a bucket, beans, and measuring cups to play with; Washable paint, paintbrushes, plain paper and some extra large Mickey pictures to paint; and some yarn, beads and straws to make bracelets and necklaces. The first two are always a good go to and he loves...the last, not so much. The yarn was much too thick to string things on and it just didn't catch his interest. Oh well-can't win 'em all and two out of three is passing in my books. (Plus, I started a random wreath project now using the fail yarn so hopefully that at least puts it to good use...)

This was just a sad few days for us. Caden sounded like he was getting a little cold one morning/afternoon, and then after naps had a little cough and I thought for sure a cold at that point. Then, that evening between 4-6 he just rapidly got worse and worse. His breathing quickly became labored, he was raspy in his breaths and cough, he got extremely dreary looking, looked exhausted. I just couldn't shake it off that we needed to take him in despite the hesitation of not wanting to over react. I am so glad I just followed my gut and took Caden to the ER. He ended up having croup. He did two breathing treatments, and it wasn't until after the second that we really saw some improvement, enough to allow us to go home and not have over night monitoring. We were there about 7-11, then got home and I made camp in his room afraid of any digression that could happen. So slept on his floor, which we soon joined and took up all of the makeshift blanket bed, and thence started the going back and forth between night feedings with a newborn and floor sleeping next to my sick little guy.

It lingered about a week, and was a long few days with more breathing treatments throughout, but he was a champ through it all and we got through it without Reid catching anything which was a bonus!

 

Early January we had our good friends Josh and Jayne come to Wichita for a visit. Love getting to catch up and hang out with them, and we got a long overdue family game night in with it as well! We attempted to teach my oldest nephew how to play Settlers. I think he had a good time, but unfortunately for him it's a long game, we all hadn't hung out for a long time, we face timed my brother during it, and Jayne and I even started doing our nails at one point. so.much.going.on. It was chaos, but so fun. Also got to try a Moscow mule for the first time. Pretty dang yummy, and for some reason I just love the cool copper cup you drink them out of-pretty sure that's have the attraction.

 

 

Caden is straight up awesome. He can be a spit fire, for sure, but man he's fun and funny. He is a quick little guy when it come to learning-already singing the alphabet pretty well, counts from 1-10, and after watching shows a few times he is already repeating what they say as they say it. That's what he's doing in picture no. uno, I can't remember what he was saying but he was saying it along with the show and with just as much enthusiasm. Pic no. two was when I cleaned out our junk drawer and he wanted to help. It was basically a 'toss in the trash fest' and he loved it. I'd hand him something and say 'trash!', he'd repeat and throw away! Until we got to these awesome shades-then we had to have a little fun with the deal.

 

I randomly had the idea of taking Caden to Braums sometime. There is one close by and after driving by it a few times, and knowing his love for ice cream, or anything sweet, I randomly thought that would be fun taking him and Reid to get out and just get a little treat. Then, one evening we had some time to kill before bed and I mentioned it to Gary. He was on board, so off we went! Caden was super excited and got to try their birthday cake ice cream. He loved it! Made me remember when I used to get a birthday cake/cotton candy mix from Coldstone when I was a teenager-oh how I wish I had all that metabolism back!

 

This happened. It was bound to happen-once I get my hair good and long I soon cut it. It's inevitable. Looking at that those long pretty curls I think, oh dang...I wish I had those, how cute. But the long hair annoyed me. The positive was I could do 2nd, 3rd, 4th day hair with more ease. BUT the negatives: I got headaches from the ponytails/buns, it was more work to do styling, I am odd and if I had anything on with my shoulders exposed it would just annoy the heck out of me when it touched me, it erked me when I slept; always getting stuck under my head and annoying me. But those curls though...those are cute and fun. Not sure...maybe some day I'll grow it out, just to cut it again, but for now I've committed to the short locks and am loving it! 

 

Outside paint, aka water, cornstarch and food coloring. He loves it and obviously we got a little cabin fever because we busted it out one day even when there was still some snow on the ground.  

 

After I got the new do I was spending some time with it the next day figuring out my new style and how I wanted to wear it, yada yada...all the while Caden took it upon himself to play with the dogs food. I could hear him being up to no good and told him a few times from afar to leave their food alone, but let's be honest-I had to figure out my new fro. So, because I put my hair before my monitoring duties there was dog food everywhere an I found him giggling as he scooted around in it. Oh man. The life of a toddler.

 

Our sweet neighbors let Caden borrow their wooden train track and he was on cloud nine. Shortly after my sister gave Caden their train table and wooden tracks that her kids grew up playing with as well so we are usually track happy around here. It's faded a little since it's gotten to be nice out and the kid would probably choose to live outside if we let him, but I'm pretty sure tracks will never get old for this one. One of his big love languages is obvious-quality time. He just wants you to play and spend time doing things together. You give him your full attention building and playing with tracks and he's bound to be a happy kid.

 

Well, shoot, this one got out of order-but one day I hung out over at my sisters to do color her hair and had a little hair/photo session with my niece. Erin offered me a glass of wine while her color processed and I sure did take her up on that yummy treat, then Bethany and I played a long overdue Game of Life (but this was on her smart tablet, and I swear her points tripled each time and later noticed she had a little x12 next to her name so I'm suspicious...), then after complaining about my long locks and telling her I was going to cut them salon Bethany came to the rescue and gave me some little braids all throughout my hair. Love that girl.

 

Caden has beautiful hazel eyes that seem to show off a few different shades. One day they were a gorgeous green while he wore a deep green shirt. I was trying to show him his pretty eyes, but all he would do was make faces at the camera so I just captured that instead. Little goofball.

 

One of the many random picture we try to send to daddy during the day sharing our love with him while he's at work.

 

My sister had these bear prints she used with her kids and they would do little bear hunts. She would hide something and lead the prints to it and they would follow and find. I need to try them again, but at the time he just didn't get the idea and instead put all his little Jake the Neverland Pirate toys on them.

 

Caden is now always wanting to get into the dryer. I remember doing this as a kid and getting it to turn and spin around when I was in it. My parents said it's too dangerous and didn't even believe me when I told them I did it-sure, it can be dangerous if he shut himself in there and we didn't know, but we are very vocal with him about not being allowed in there unless we say and we are always around and know when he is in it. I mean, we're vocal about a lot of things and he doesn't listen, so I'm not saying we're in the clear-but at least something we're trying to be safe about and just choosing to let him have fun with this one.

 

After only a few months of winter, as soon as it's above freezing out, you'll find us outside whenever possible. Caden got this cool Thomas train from my sister at his second birthday. It was a large set of circle tracks it can go on, but can also go off on it's own. Not so much on the grass, but cruises along just fine around the house or pavement. Caden still has yet to learn how to steer it well, but even older kids seems to love taking it for a spin!

 

We ventured out to a trampoline park for the first time this winter. It was a blast. I had my in-laws watch Reid so I wouldn't have to hold myself back-which I should have somewhat because I got a killer headache afterwards! The first time we went downtown and with Caitlin and Caysen. They are some of our besties. The boys are less than a week a part and play great together. So, we try to get them together to do different things when we can. Caitlin is a nurse and works part time, and now with my days having more flexibility and being home hopefully we'll be able to get in more time together for our sake and theirs!

 

The day my sister dropped off the train table we skipped naps and hit up the park with her and her kiddos. Caden loves all his cousins and is always so excited when he gets to see them. These kids crack me up-they were screaming all the way down the slide and making the funniest faces on their way down. Love their simple ability to enjoy the little things in life-kind of like having childlike faith-sometimes jealous of that as well...

We had awesome neighbors just across the way. They have always been kind and helpful-I remember when Caden was born we still didn't know them very well and she came over shortly after dropping off gift for him. Sadly, it wasn't even until after Reid when she did the same thing that we really connected and got Caden and Chris together to play. They have seven kids, ranging from four years old, Chris, to high school. They are always willing to help by taking Caden to play for a while so when Jen picked up some extra work for a few weeks I offered to watch Chris once a week for a morning, since his dad works third and giving him some time to catch up on sleep.

 

SO the boys got to get together to play, play, and play some more. They always have a good time together-Caden loves hanging out with them. Chris has a few younger siblings that have been good at playing with Caden as well and we have had them over/they have had Caden over-it's a fun set up and great to have neighbor friends. Very fun and also very helpful at the same time!

Last but not least, just a little funny. Caden loves to help us cook, the only downside is trying to constantly keep him from also taking bites as we cook. Making enchiladas, he always bites into the tortillas; pasta, he'll even start eating the uncooked pasta; cutting up fruit is guaranteed to have pieces missing along the way. So it wasn't a surprise when he took a bite out of a frozen egg roll either...then, turn your back for a second and he adds a 'little' salt to it as well. Gross. My sister is an over-salter and I am definitely not, so I had to send her this picture when it happened. Sometimes his help isn't always so helpful, but at least he's interested in trying, right?!

 

 

uno.dos.TRES

 

Reid you seem to be growing like a weed now. There is nothing like new born baby snuggles, cuddles, and all the love bug moments that come with getting to know your new baby, but these new stages that come as the months go by and you grow more, becoming more alert to your surroundings are so dang fun I am just so excited for them. And so nervous. As you get to be yet another month older when it feels like we just celebrated last months 'birthday' it makes me constantly think and try to grab at the memories of Caden at these stages. It makes me sad that all those moments I told myself I'd never forget are already seeming to be fuzzy. They come and go so quick, and although they are priceless, without the help of a picture from that time it is sometimes hard to go back there when so much has changed. Newborn, sleepy baby to alert, smiley infant to curious, on-the-go year old babe to ornery, fast learning toddler...whew. I can't keep up with you boys.

Okay, focus now, back onto what you are up to as a big, ol' three month old...

You go back and forth on sleeping routines, but majority wise you sleep great. And when I say great, I mean just two nights ago you slept from 9:45 pm-6:00 am. (I unfortunately did not follow suite. I didn't sleep well between 4-6 either from being awake in anticipation of you waking up or continuing to question if I should wake and pump, wondering if I did that then the moment I would finish you would wake.) But we are starting to try to 'sleep train' you more, which is another blog post and one that I told myself I will write in case we have more babies because I would have really loved to have one to refer back to this time instead of try to remember things we did with Caden, so you're catching on well to that and not having to be soothed to sleep like we were doing up until the last week.

You last weighed in at 11 pounds. That was three weeks ago, though, and I would bet you've gained a pound or two more now.

You are a strong little man. You stand up so well and so adamantly when we hold you. You arch your neck back and around whichever way to catch a view of someone talking or an object that you like.

You have the best smile. You have recently been giving your daddy the best smiles. It's fun to get you in the mornings when you wake up for the day, you are always looking around so curiously and smile or 'coo' back. Totally makes any of the nights where we're up more than most worth it.

You 'coo' and make noises back at us..it makes my day and I love to hear your little voice.

You have a strong grip and are starting to find your hands more and sucking on them. You keep your hands in a pretty good fist right now, so although you are finding your hands, I don't think you'll find your thumb and be a thumb sucker like your big bro.

You love the paci, love to be swaddled for bed time-and more recently some naps in the crib.

You already smile and seem to enjoy the craziness of your big brother. You love watching him jump around on the couch or play with trains. He has been so gentle and sweet towards you, it makes for some pretty priceless moments watching you two interact already.

 

Along with your smile you also have a killer 'what the crap?!' look. You can furrow those eyebrows like none other!

 



You are pretty easy going. I'm not sure if that's just because you have to be during moments that we have to teach, assist, or discipline Caden or if that will just be a character trait that we will see in your personality.

You are just the best. My mom says I'm needy, and I wouldn't say she's totally wrong, but man I just love you and your brother so much. As much as I feel worn out sometimes, or like I need a break, the times that I have gotten to step away I find myself quickly missing you both. Your dad and I were able to go out to eat the other night just the two of us and I found myself staring at the other babies in the restaurant. We had the house to ourselves that night as well, and you had your first sleepover at your YaYa and Bubba's house so I could get up and get in some work hours for the next day-and catch a good nights rest-and we both just felt like something was missing. The house felt empty and it didn't feel the same.

Guess that's a good thing, though. Even if there are times where we feel like we couldn't give any more of ourselves, God has given us the heart, desire and strength to be there more for our boys than we could normally do on our own. Amen for that.

I am so excited, and now sad that I think about it, to see you grow, develop, and show us more and more the personality you are going to have. Thank you for being our fun little guy, thanks for the bonus snuggles that this momma so desperately needs some days, and thanks for the sharing those adorable little smiles.

 

We love you so much, Reid. xoxoxox

TWO

Reidster is two months old now. I first think, ack-I should go cry in a corner. This is going to fly by too fast and my little baby will be gone before I know it. But, currently, life is busy and as much as I can't believe they change so quick I'm also okay with the longer stretches of sleep at night and adorable smiles that we're getting now! So, celebrate two month we must.

-This past week you did almost seven straight days of sleeping from around 8/9 pm-5/6 am. More so you seem to at least guarantee about a 6-8 hour stretch, which is great!
-You weighed in at exactly 11 lbs today at your two month check up.
-You are eating well and taking bottles fine. We're mixing most bottles half breastmilk/half formula. At the time we needed to do some bottles while I went in to train for work you were going through a growth spurt and eating more, which left me little to nothing to pump and store after. So, to not stress we got some formula to mix in and you took just fine to it.
-You sleep great. We don't really have a set day schedule for you, not sure if you or any future babes will get as much of one as your big bro did since we won't have that freedom as much during the first part of our days. Maybe I'll make it more mandatory as you get older, but right now you're chill and go with the flow. (Currently you're napping great in your swing -not swinging- and have been recently so that may be our go-to nap spot for the days at home..)
-You smile and coo and it just melts my heart! I can't even put into words how sweet it is to hear your little voice and see you light up with a smile at us. It is priceless and I am trying to soak it all up!
-You love, love, love your soothie. You'll sleep without it, but majority of the time fall asleep with it and either spit it out or it falls out as you're catching flies while you snooze.
-You are kind of a hater towards the car seat still. The soothie helps with that, but what doesn't help is when you spit it out/let it fall out and I'm doing amazing back arm stretches to plug it back in before you get too upset. And believe me...you can get a bit emotional and quick, too. Luckily-it doesn't take much or long to bring you back down to reality.
-You rock at tummy time and don't seem to mind it really.
-You are pretty easy going with all the noise, ahem-Caden, around you. He still gives you good scare and startles you here and there. It's funny and sad all in one to see your eyes get all wide and big, then comes the extreme pout face and tears...never fear, soothie to the rescue!

You have a killer scoul. If you are ever a boss someday I suggest you use it to show you mean business, or when someone is acting a fool...it'd be perfect for that.

Little Reid, we love you so much. Caden is so cute and gentle towards you, always telling you 'It's okay, baby, it's okay...' if you're upset. You are easy going, have an amazing smile, and give the best cuddles a mommy could ask for. We adore you, little guy, and cannot wait to embark on all the adventures and milestones that are yet to come with you!

Love you always, Reid. xoxo

Caden,

 

My sweet, sweet boy. I love you so much. I don't exaggerate when I say it brings me to tears to think of how strong my love is for you, all the best wishes that I have for you in your life, all the worries that I carry for you and your future, my dreams and hopes and desires for you are so strong and so big. I want to cover you in so much love that no matter what happens in life that you never feel alone, never feel afraid, and always know that you have a place to call home.

You are hilarious. Your humor and your love are fierce and never ending. In these recent mornings you will wake up, pitter-patter your little feet across the house and into our room, crawl up into bed, get under the covers and snuggle with me for a little while. What tugs at my heart even more is you have recently placed your little arm around my head to 'hold me' and will swap little kisses back and forth, telling me 'you're welcome' when I say thank you for your kisses. You always tell me 'yesh.' when I ask if you've slept good, even on days you skip naps. A few weeks ago you would randomly look me in the eyes, get close to my face, put a big smile on and say 'merwee cwistmas, mommie!' It's February, and you are wishing me a Merry Christmas. Melt.My.Heart.

You love to laugh, run, play. You really seem to have an excitement for life, as most kids do, but luckily I am blessed to be your mommy and get to see you experience and take joy in so many new things. You make each day more exciting than the last and seeing the world through your eyes makes this crazy place much more enjoyable.

 

You are quick to forgive and move on. You are defiant, but in a toddler kind of way. You are testing boundaries and love to say no, which unfortunately ends with you having to sit on the time-out stool. But, as mentioned before, you are quick to forgive and move on-so usually if we have to step away with you and 'start over', or help you understand when some things are not okay to do, you seem to catch on, shake it off, and we're on our way before too long. This isn't to say it won't happen again, and again, and again-but situation to situation they usually aren't drawn out ordeals. You just have a bit of stubbornness in you like your sweet, perfect mommy. :)

You have the blondest of blond hair. The perfect little swirl right up front. Everyone comments on your white blond hair. You got that from your father. He had the same growing up until about middle school. I'm very interested to see what happens if yours will change as you get older or stay blond.

You have hazel eyes that favor green when you wear greens and show more blue when you wear blues. They are adorable and so beautiful. As is your smile and your cheeks. Your cheeks are full and oh so kissable. Your smile lights up the room. Your eyes squint when you smile from ear to ear. You also have a killer ornery look and smile that gives away whatever you may be up to.

You are fascinated with trains, cars, and Donald Duck/Chip and Dale/Mickey Mouse. You now have a wooden train set thanks to Aunt Erin passing down their train table and set, and the neighbors letting you borrow theirs as well. We also have a more modern set that your old daycare passed down to you that has trains that can go on their own (all Thomas-themed trains). Between the two different kinds, we are bound to play trains at least once a day.

You are the BEST eater out there. You eat what we eat. You love to help cook-always pulling over the table stool to get up to the counter and help in any possible way you can or we'll let you. You eat meat, veggies, fruit, potatoes--it is a true blessing to have you be on board and not a picky eater. Sometimes I wish people could see this when we are out of our home setting, because depending on where we are and your hungry level, you won't always eat as well and would much rather go play. But, that being said, you have been a much better listener and will eat however many more bites we ask before being done.

Your listening, although not always right away and still challenging us at times, make me a very, very proud momma. I kind of think it's okay for you to sometimes be challenging. Not always do I think that in the moment when we're trying to leave somewhere, go somewhere, or do something. But outside of needing to get things done, I know that you are in that stage of learning and curiosity, so it's good to learn and definitely makes me slow down and know that life can wait as we help teach you rights from wrongs.

You have a sense of hesitation towards new things or in public, which is good. Love people, see the good in people, but know that some people just straight up suck, are bad people and you don't need to go around trusting everyone. Showing love and showing trust are two very different things. But, at this age, your hesitation comes more as you just want to observe and see things a little before jumping right in.

You're imagination is endless. You talk in different voices and make up different scenarios with your toys. It's always taken you at least 30 minutes to wind down at night and fall asleep, and now that you're older you'll 'sneak' books into bed after we leave and 'read' them, or play imagination with your animals, or even better with nothing at all. You are just in there talking away until you fall asleep. We now tell you stories before bed and you have consistently requested 'Caden elephant' which usually consist of either an adventure for a little boy named Caden and an elephant or a mommy elephant who lost baby elephant so you have to find him. (in which case, after mommy elephant cries to Caden saying 'Caden, I lost my baby elephant will you help me find him?' you always reply in the most sympathetic voice 'I sorry, I help you find baby elephant.' Very cute. Although, right now you're supposed to be taking a nap but have been chatting away in imagination land in your room for almost an hour. come on, man, come on...)

You already show first child traits. Kind of bossy, try to tell us what to do, that kind of thing. When it's time to eat we fix your plate first then follow in line and while we're getting our stuff together you're constantly telling us 'daddy-time to eat!' 'mommy-it's time to eat!'. When we correct the dogs or have to fuss with them, you're always a little echo behind us doing the same thing and we have to remind you, Caden-let mommy and daddy handle max and sissy. Guess you just have to keep us in line, huh?!

At two and a half you are so fun. It's a fun and trying age and we are so happy to be able to navigate it with you.

Now, let serious mommy break loose here and hang with me little man...

Caden, you're father and I love you so much. We even say that although you are showing some defiance, and that can be trying, that you are such a good kid. You are so fun and you truly bring so much joy and love into or family we couldn't imagine life without you.

Listen, your father and I have a different, but similar story to our lives. The main similar part is something we want to really be able to help you guys navigate the best we can, while at the same time keeping our distance so you can have those life lessons yourself. But, hopefully we'll be transparent in a good way about how, for a while, we both chose to live a life of partying over a life of following God. Sure, it seems all fun-you especially at this age wouldn't be caught dead missing out on a party especially when there's cake. But, unfortunately the parties aren't all cake and punch and leave you constantly searching for the next one, because they cannot bring contentment into your life as God can.

Now, honestly, we had some fun times. There's something fun and stupid about waking up and reminiscing dumb moments with your friends after a long night. I don't want to lie to you and just leave you curious and more persistent to find out for yourself, but I also know that there are just as many hard times that came with. More trouble, pain-emotionally and physically, broken relationships. Those aren't the ones that people reminisce about. Those aren't the nights that you hear people sharing. Be wise in our actions and the choices you make. Don't grow up too fast, but don't act a fool just because that's what everyone else is doing. Dare to stand out. Dare to be different.

I hope that as you grow older, like teenage older, that we can relay the honest truth about the world out there and hopefully give you a head start on your expectations, and honestly, what your father and I expect out of you as well.

We don't expect you to be perfect. We were, and are, far from that. But we expect honesty and truth. We expect you to treat others as you want to be treated. To stand up for those that don't have anyone on their side. To be a hard worker. Show love and compassion even when it doesn't seem to be deserved. To think first before you speak. Study hard and follow your dreams and goals in life. Don't give up on yourself and never sell yourself short. You are worth so much, never let anyone make you think otherwise. You are never alone no matter how dark some days may seem. Trust in God and his plan despite the hardship in understanding it at times. Know that if life gets hard, that it can only go up from there and remember the world around you. Know that you are very, very important, but also know that there are so many out there that are less fortunate than you and be humble in your blessings. Know that God gives you challenges in life for a reason-learn and grow from each of them. Be consistent in studying God's word no matter where you are in life. Know that it is okay to question all aspect of life, but hold fast to God's word and his promise and find your strength in him.

The things of this world, although they seem so appealing and fun, are never going to bring you the joy and blessings that God can. I have learned more about trusting in God in the last six months than I could have imagined. Giving up control of things that we should really rely on God for, not ourselves, is huge. I hope you can lean on Him during the good and the bad days.

I could go on and on. Probably something that you will realize as you get older-maybe you and your dad will even develop a funny eye roll about it, but dang it, I am your mother and I will be heard. Honestly, I want you to have something to look back on for days you may be lonely, need encouragement, or if I'm gone-I want you to be able to read my love if I cannot express it myself.

You are amazing, Caden. Use your love, kindness and smile to do great things in this world. We love you so much.

xoxoxo