Finding Peace Amongst the Quiet

Since the start of our relationship Gary and I have had things to look forward to. First year of dating; engagement with wedding shortly after; a year of new home, new marriage, new jobs; pregnancy of our first son; Caden's birth and journey into new parenthood for a year and a half then pregnancy of our second son; birth and journey into parenthood to two littles and now here we are.

This year has things happening and planned-but as for our personal life, no new happenings. It's a year that's planned around simplicity as we close in on meeting our debt pay off goals. So close, yet not there yet. Being able to see the end in sight, yet having to be still and patient just a bit longer and wait furthermore to see some reward in our persistency.

And it kills me.

I am just at a loss not having something major to look forward to. To be faced with living amongst the mundane.

Caden and Reid make our days anything but mundane, that isn't to describe them. It's the work, raise boys, do your thing, make meals, sneak in adult time, work again, raise the boys some more....set on repeat.

I tell myself, and I know, that all of that is enough. But what do you do when you find yourself feeling stuck or without a long-term, bigger purpose?

I am choosing to take this time and appreciate it's slower pace. As much as it bugs me to not have an event or happening to look forward to, I really think it's what I need. What we need.

Too often have we let the busy fill our schedule. Too often have I counted on an upcoming new thing to give me something to look forward to. Too often have I discredited the now and the present because I simply continue to look ahead.

I feel like God is surrounding me with a quiet year, a quiet plan, in order to show me all that He really has done. For me to stop and see where He has me, and not continue to look past that at where I want to be.

I love where we are at and I need to be content in that and soak it all up. The boys are so young, which makes some of the days harder, but these days will be gone before I know it. I still have a hard time wrapping my head around how quick Caden has grown and matured-before I blink Reid will be there, which means Caden will be even further along in age...and attitude.

If God lined it all up to make me available to be here with them, then I also believes he's lined it all up to have this be a quiet year so that I don't have the option to look past and beyond where He has us.

I am constantly thinking weeks, months, years out and that only leads to missing out on the little moments of the day. Moments He has placed there for a reason. Moments He needs to speak through and needs me to see.

Amongst this simplistic, 'quiet' year, even if I struggle amongst the mundane, I will choose to focus on growth. Growth in my vision and respect of my marriage, my boys, and my relationship with God.

It's not often you are stuck in the simplistic. I would be remiss not simmer in it. So, raise your third cup of coffee (I kid; one cup gives me the shakes), and cheers to finding peace amongst the quiet.