Discipline

We have ourselves a fun, energetic, loving, humorous, ornery, and curious little toddler. There are many ways I could describe Caden, and many stories I could tell about our daily adventures-the good, the bad, and the ugly. But what we've recently been challenged with is disciplining.

Gary and I have had multiple conversations about our disciplining actions for our children. Disciplining isn't easy in general, but now that Reid is here I have taken it much more seriously than I did previously. I personally feel like I cannot afford to spend my days arguing with Caden and begging for his attention to listen and obey me while balancing the needs and wants of both boys. After just two days home solo with them I quickly decided we needed to implement a new discipline route with Caden. We feel like we need Caden to listen, obey and respect us and out of interest for his own well being, not just to be big, mean, bossy parents. And since we have been quicker to respond to his disobeying/acting out/back talk and expecting more out of him he has in turn responded better to us both at home and in public which has made things much easier all around.

Our new course of actions, thoughts and scenarios were running through my mind the other night as I was trying to fall asleep. I couldn't help but correlate that as we request respect from Caden, as does God from us. As we have Caden's safety and well being in mind, as does God with us. I had a study this week that focused on Deuteronomy 28:58-63.

58 If you do not carefully follow all the words of this law, which are written in this book, and do not revere this glorious and awesome name-the Lord your God-59 the Lord will send fearful plagues on you and your descendants, harsh and prolonged disasters, and severe and lingering illnesses. 60 He will bring on you all the diseases of Egypt that you dreaded, and they will cling to you. 61 The Lord will also bring on you every kind of sickness and disaster not recorded in this Book of the Law, until you are destroyed. 62 You who were as numerous as the starts in the sky will be left but few in number, because you did not obey the Lord your God. 63 Just as it please the Lord to make you prosper and increase in number, so it will please him to ruin and destroy you. You will be uprooted from the land you are entering to possess.

I first thought, geez, how rude. So many threats from a God that loves us and wants the best for us. I read on in the devotional about how the lesson shows how the bible contains words of encouragement as well as words of warning, yet we sometimes focus solely on the words of encouragement. I voiced to Gary later that day my struggle with feeling the respect for God sometimes. He is not physically present to remind me, or put me in time out, therefore I fall into the pattern of neglect of respect for God and the obedience he desires from us. This world has tainted my image of God at times. Zeus, gods of other religions, worldly desires to put myself first--all of these only help me struggle in wrapping my mind around the concept of there being our one God that demands for us to worship and respect him. How is it silly for these gods to require that, yet necessary and reasonable for God to?

I don't question this in a way where I disagree with it--this is where I feel like I have the faith in my christian beliefs and know that this is true. I also want to be open with God, and whomever, about my struggles and the thoughts that I may have regarding my faith. Not that I may open a door of insecurity and let Satan make himself at home, but that I may find reassurance or even peace in feeling that it's okay to not always grasp the magnitude of God and all that He is. We are human. We are of this world. I personally don't think that at this level we are capable of understanding it all.

I know in my heart that God is in control of all things that are good and bad, that we understand or that we can't even wrap our minds around. Yet, as we demand Cadens respect and obedience, I turn around and don't even give that much to God.

Our actions of disciplining Caden are necessary for him to understand boundaries, be it for safety or respect. I can't shake the feeling that Gods actions of discipline and request for us to honor him are for the same reasons. The degree of seriousness I feel like do not compare, don't get me wrong, I know I am comparing worldly situations to that of religious level. But lying there, trying to fall asleep, I felt as if God opened my perspective and views towards his warnings as if to say, 'Amanda. Don't you get it? As you are trying to help your son understand the boundaries of life and have only his best interest in mind, as am I for you. My requests for respect and obedience are not out of selfishness but for your best interest, as yours are for you children. Just as there are consequences to disobedience for your children, as there are for mine. You are my child. You are a child of God.'

I hope that as my faith grows so will my respect for God, but I also hope that even if I struggle with this concept forever that my faith not waver and I stand strong in my hearts knowledge that this is what I believe in, even if it is hard to wrap my mind around at times, and even if I stumble or sin. I don't want to hold onto my failures, sins, wrong-doings. I want to hold onto Gods promise, take caution to his warnings, and grow in my understanding of his word.