Worry Shmorry

‘For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.’ 

2 Timothy 1:7

 It almost hit me like a ton of bricks when this verse was spoken on KLOVE during their pledge drive. I heard this on the Thursday after Easter while driving to work, just after dropping Caden off. He had been going on day five of throwing up again.

Tears come to my eyes just trying to write this. The stress and burden we carry as parents when he's sick has been overwhelming. Unfortunately for Caden he's had a good few runs of being sick.

Dairy allergy. Upper respiratory infection. Multiple stomach bugs of some sort. just.feels.never.ending.

 The snuggles were a bonus. Even big sister MJ provided some for you.

It'd be different if he just got sick once or twice. But he's turning eight months old this Wednesday and it's been multiple things-which then makes us doubt ourselves and sometimes even the Dr's. As parents, and new ones at that, we don't want to overreact and make things a big deal when it's just 'life', but we also do not want to be missing something if there truly is something wrong that we need to be seeing and help him with.

Caden is on a daily reflux medicine, and that seems to help-he normally eats like a champ-but then starting Easter Sunday for five days he could barely keep much down and when he didn't keep it down goodness did everything come up. It is so confusing and made us doubt when it's not our place to do so.

We both continued to pray and turn to God for guidance. But, to be honest, I can't fully say that I felt 'relieved' through my prayers. I still, as a mommy and control freak, held on to the control that I wanted to have over my son and his well being.

It hit me when I heard this verse. I've always told myself that Caden is God's son that we have been blessed with to raise and we need to put Caden and his well being in God's hands. That is a huge pill to swallow though. For me, I want to be in control of my life and if something needs done I'll take care of it. I'll figure it out, I'll make it work, pursue opportunities, protect and nurture my son, care for my husband, work hard at my job, budget and make sure we're smart about our money and get ourselves ahead/out of debt.

God has granted me this life to live in the first place. God has given me the opportunities in my life to pursue. God has blessed me with a child. God has favored me with an amazing husband. God has placed me in a stable job. God has provided our income. God is the source of all these things.

Who am I to question his capabilities? This is the God who saved millions of Israelites from Pharaoh. Who am I to doubt him?

I am human. Doubting in God is a sin that Satan emphasizes every stinking chance he gets-and man does he do a good job. 2 Timothy 1:7 says 'God has not given us a spirit of fear...'-our fear is derived from sin and Satan. We have doubt/fear the size of a mustard seed and Satan takes advantage of that and before we know it it's so big and great we cannot bear the burden.

I have been struggling with this and trying to remind myself daily that it is not for me to over-plan, over-think and over-worry about things that are not mine to begin with. God has given us a wonderful, happy, best-laugh-ever son and it is our job to love him, show him God's love and teach him the wonderful things of this world that God has blessed us with.

There is a much bigger picture than we can see and even comprehend. To have fear or doubt in the things that we cannot grasp or understand is only Satan taking advantage of our sinful and weak nature. I will continue to fight against that. I am knowingly stubborn...thank you mom...so let me be stubborn in my fight against Satan. Not in my will towards letting God use me.

I pray for myself, my family, and our friends that we let ourselves be open and willing to God's plan no matter how hard it may be to understand at times. He is a gracious and rewarding God-he will provide.

Amen. Amen. Amen.

My husband is amazing. He shared this, one of his favorite verses, with me after I shared this post with him. We are not perfect, by any means, but we can strive to correct ourselves and better ourselves-I love him for being my best friend and partner in that daily challenge.

Matthew 6:25-34

²⁵ “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷ Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
²⁸ “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹ Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰ If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? ³¹ So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Here Comes Mr. Cottontail...

Oh Easter. It came and it went, and I have meant to document it a million and one times by now. Next year will be a fun experience with Caden, this year it was just another day-minus he started a 5 day series of being sick on Easter.

Friday was a YaYa day so Gary and I both met up there after work where my sister and kids were just starting to color some eggs. Some good family time, coloring eggs, pizza-can't get better than that.

Saturday was a fun family day. We ventured out to Botanica Gardens, the bunny was weird, had a bunny beard and was about to go on break and wouldn't sit to take a picture. Oh well, not the meaning of Easter anyways right? Caden wasn't scared of the odd looking bunny either, he found it funny and that was entertaining for us to see. More so the children's garden was an 'ooo' and 'awwww' for Caden. Again, another thing that will be more fun once he gets a bit older, but it was still awesome to see him explore and see new things.

Saturday night we went to church. Basically any time is kind of bad timing to go to church for Caden. They just all fall in times that he's usually tired/almost done with the day/nap time. But the nursery/child care people have been so good and patient with you. He's always so intrigued by your surroundings, especially when other babies/kids are around so I'm assuming people watching keeps him busy-only thing is when he's at that tired stage he won't be independent. But again they've done great with Caden-and that brings so much comfort to us.

Sunday we relaxed until it was time to go to Grandma Wendy's and Grumpo's house. Little man did get sick first thing in the morning, and then another time at their house-you slept a bit and took some pedialyte but we called it an early day in hopes you would rest better at home. Honestly, the rest of the day is a blur-but overall it was a nice weekend.(You even sported an awesome bowtie-thanks to Aunt Erin! Unfortunately, it didn't survive you getting sick, but we got pictures and you look so handsome. Doesn't matter how long it lasted!)

We were blessed with such wonderful weather for it too. Of course now it's getting crazy with snow in some places, rain in others and sunshine in the rest. Odd. Life is busy. Life is good. We continue to remind ourselves to count our blessings and trust in God. Hate how we have to remind ourselves that, but as Satan would have it-he sometimes gets the best of us. Not for long though, not for long.

Happy extra-belated Easter to everyone. Cheers to springtime!