My sweet, sweet boy. I love you so much. I don't exaggerate when I say it brings me to tears to think of how strong my love is for you, all the best wishes that I have for you in your life, all the worries that I carry for you and your future, my dreams and hopes and desires for you are so strong and so big. I want to cover you in so much love that no matter what happens in life that you never feel alone, never feel afraid, and always know that you have a place to call home.
You are hilarious. Your humor and your love are fierce and never ending. In these recent mornings you will wake up, pitter-patter your little feet across the house and into our room, crawl up into bed, get under the covers and snuggle with me for a little while. What tugs at my heart even more is you have recently placed your little arm around my head to 'hold me' and will swap little kisses back and forth, telling me 'you're welcome' when I say thank you for your kisses. You always tell me 'yesh.' when I ask if you've slept good, even on days you skip naps. A few weeks ago you would randomly look me in the eyes, get close to my face, put a big smile on and say 'merwee cwistmas, mommie!' It's February, and you are wishing me a Merry Christmas. Melt.My.Heart.
You love to laugh, run, play. You really seem to have an excitement for life, as most kids do, but luckily I am blessed to be your mommy and get to see you experience and take joy in so many new things. You make each day more exciting than the last and seeing the world through your eyes makes this crazy place much more enjoyable.
You are quick to forgive and move on. You are defiant, but in a toddler kind of way. You are testing boundaries and love to say no, which unfortunately ends with you having to sit on the time-out stool. But, as mentioned before, you are quick to forgive and move on-so usually if we have to step away with you and 'start over', or help you understand when some things are not okay to do, you seem to catch on, shake it off, and we're on our way before too long. This isn't to say it won't happen again, and again, and again-but situation to situation they usually aren't drawn out ordeals. You just have a bit of stubbornness in you like your sweet, perfect mommy. :)
You have the blondest of blond hair. The perfect little swirl right up front. Everyone comments on your white blond hair. You got that from your father. He had the same growing up until about middle school. I'm very interested to see what happens if yours will change as you get older or stay blond.
You have hazel eyes that favor green when you wear greens and show more blue when you wear blues. They are adorable and so beautiful. As is your smile and your cheeks. Your cheeks are full and oh so kissable. Your smile lights up the room. Your eyes squint when you smile from ear to ear. You also have a killer ornery look and smile that gives away whatever you may be up to.
You are fascinated with trains, cars, and Donald Duck/Chip and Dale/Mickey Mouse. You now have a wooden train set thanks to Aunt Erin passing down their train table and set, and the neighbors letting you borrow theirs as well. We also have a more modern set that your old daycare passed down to you that has trains that can go on their own (all Thomas-themed trains). Between the two different kinds, we are bound to play trains at least once a day.
You are the BEST eater out there. You eat what we eat. You love to help cook-always pulling over the table stool to get up to the counter and help in any possible way you can or we'll let you. You eat meat, veggies, fruit, potatoes--it is a true blessing to have you be on board and not a picky eater. Sometimes I wish people could see this when we are out of our home setting, because depending on where we are and your hungry level, you won't always eat as well and would much rather go play.
But, that being said, you have been a much better listener and will eat however many more bites we ask before being done.
Your listening, although not always right away and still challenging us at times, make me a very, very proud momma. I kind of think it's okay for you to sometimes be challenging. Not always do I think that in the moment when we're trying to leave somewhere, go somewhere, or do something. But outside of needing to get things done, I know that you are in that stage of learning and curiosity, so it's good to learn and definitely makes me slow down and know that life can wait as we help teach you rights from wrongs.
You have a sense of hesitation towards new things or in public, which is good. Love people, see the good in people, but know that some people just straight up suck, are bad people and you don't need to go around trusting everyone. Showing love and showing trust are two very different things. But, at this age, your hesitation comes more as you just want to observe and see things a little before jumping right in.
You're imagination is endless. You talk in different voices and make up different scenarios with your toys. It's always taken you at least 30 minutes to wind down at night and fall asleep, and now that you're older you'll 'sneak' books into bed after we leave and 'read' them, or play imagination with your animals, or even better with nothing at all. You are just in there talking away until you fall asleep. We now tell you stories before bed and you have consistently requested 'Caden elephant' which usually consist of either an adventure for a little boy named Caden and an elephant or a mommy elephant who lost baby elephant so you have to find him. (in which case, after mommy elephant cries to Caden saying 'Caden, I lost my baby elephant will you help me find him?' you always reply in the most sympathetic voice 'I sorry, I help you find baby elephant.' Very cute. Although, right now you're supposed to be taking a nap but have been chatting away in imagination land in your room for almost an hour. come on, man, come on...)
You already show first child traits. Kind of bossy, try to tell us what to do, that kind of thing. When it's time to eat we fix your plate first then follow in line and while we're getting our stuff together you're constantly telling us 'daddy-time to eat!' 'mommy-it's time to eat!'. When we correct the dogs or have to fuss with them, you're always a little echo behind us doing the same thing and we have to remind you, Caden-let mommy and daddy handle max and sissy. Guess you just have to keep us in line, huh?!
At two and a half you are so fun. It's a fun and trying age and we are so happy to be able to navigate it with you.
Now, let serious mommy break loose here and hang with me little man...
Caden, you're father and I love you so much. We even say that although you are showing some defiance, and that can be trying, that you are such a good kid. You are so fun and you truly bring so much joy and love into or family we couldn't imagine life without you.
Listen, your father and I have a different, but similar story to our lives. The main similar part is something we want to really be able to help you guys navigate the best we can, while at the same time keeping our distance so you can have those life lessons yourself. But, hopefully we'll be transparent in a good way about how, for a while, we both chose to live a life of partying over a life of following God. Sure, it seems all fun-you especially at this age wouldn't be caught dead missing out on a party especially when there's cake. But, unfortunately the parties aren't all cake and punch and leave you constantly searching for the next one, because they cannot bring contentment into your life as God can.
Now, honestly, we had some fun times. There's something fun and stupid about waking up and reminiscing dumb moments with your friends after a long night. I don't want to lie to you and just leave you curious and more persistent to find out for yourself, but I also know that there are just as many hard times that came with. More trouble, pain-emotionally and physically, broken relationships. Those aren't the ones that people reminisce about. Those aren't the nights that you hear people sharing. Be wise in our actions and the choices you make. Don't grow up too fast, but don't act a fool just because that's what everyone else is doing. Dare to stand out. Dare to be different.
I hope that as you grow older, like teenage older, that we can relay the honest truth about the world out there and hopefully give you a head start on your expectations, and honestly, what your father and I expect out of you as well.
We don't expect you to be perfect. We were, and are, far from that. But we expect honesty and truth. We expect you to treat others as you want to be treated. To stand up for those that don't have anyone on their side. To be a hard worker. Show love and compassion even when it doesn't seem to be deserved. To think first before you speak. Study hard and follow your dreams and goals in life. Don't give up on yourself and never sell yourself short. You are worth so much, never let anyone make you think otherwise. You are never alone no matter how dark some days may seem. Trust in God and his plan despite the hardship in understanding it at times. Know that if life gets hard, that it can only go up from there and remember the world around you. Know that you are very, very important, but also know that there are so many out there that are less fortunate than you and be humble in your blessings. Know that God gives you challenges in life for a reason-learn and grow from each of them. Be consistent in studying God's word no matter where you are in life. Know that it is okay to question all aspect of life, but hold fast to God's word and his promise and find your strength in him.
The things of this world, although they seem so appealing and fun, are never going to bring you the joy and blessings that God can. I have learned more about trusting in God in the last six months than I could have imagined. Giving up control of things that we should really rely on God for, not ourselves, is huge. I hope you can lean on Him during the good and the bad days.
I could go on and on. Probably something that you will realize as you get older-maybe you and your dad will even develop a funny eye roll about it, but dang it, I am your mother and I will be heard. Honestly, I want you to have something to look back on for days you may be lonely, need encouragement, or if I'm gone-I want you to be able to read my love if I cannot express it myself.
You are amazing, Caden. Use your love, kindness and smile to do great things in this world. We love you so much.
xoxoxo
