Stuck in Stink

If I get stuck in the stink, it serves no good purpose.

Lysa TurKeurst, Craving God Devo

Sometimes I wonder how much I differ from a pig rolling back and forth in a pigsty. Roll one way, then another, each time covering a different section of myself with some more mess.

I let the mess stick and ignore it while it hardens, making it harder to remove.

My stink widely varies and changes. Lack of discipline. Bad attitude. Impatience. Discontent. Greed. Disobedience. Discouragement.

But stink is stink. And when I wallow, I let it settle and cause disconnection and harm.

Some stink can be more detrimental than others-but I guess that also depends on the depth and the time we allow to ignore the real problem. Even the most simple of issues, if left unresolved, can grow to intensely harden our hearts and perspective.

I so despise when I feel stinky.

When I'm in a state of defeat in motherhood. When our day has been full of whining, disciplining and irritation. When I'm frustrated to be in the exact spot and opportunity I cried and longed for during working out of the home full time. When I can't see past the fog of an off day. When I allow Satan to harp on all the negative. Like, all.of.it..and magnify it.

When I let my stink settle. When I sit amongst it and welcome its company. That is when I am letting Satan kill, steal, and destroy.

He is killing my joy. He is stealing opportunities. He is destroying my outlook.

As a fly is drawn to the yuck, so is Satan is to our defeat--to our stink.

Why in the world do I let it linger? Why do I bask in the sun with it, letting it harden over me?

Being in-between homes has brought up some stink I don't think I've entirely dealt with before. We normally live pretty simple. Nothing fancy, but definitely lucky to be stable.

Yet greed creeps in and stinks up my heart, adding discontent to it's party. Wanting more or wishing over the budget. Losing focus and gratitude.

That stink-if I leave it, will forever leave me discontent. Nothing will be good enough. No one, or nothing, will fully satisfy.

So, I have been working again and again on it. I hope to continue to improve and be faster to realign, but I still fall back in unrealistic desires easier than I'd like to admit.

If...well, let's make that when...I have struggles with the above, once I wise up and bring it to the surface I often realize how quick I am to idolize or prioritize over God. It never works, it always fails, and it always reeks.

I'm tired of stinking. When I start to notice a stench, when I realize I've let the dirt layer up and harden, when I've allowed Satan to harp on negatives--it's time to rinse, bathe, and repeat.

Rinse off in grace and forgiveness. Bathe in God's truth and love. And repeat.

So, what's your stink?