3 months

Before we knew what hit us it was Saturday, November 17th and you are 3 months old! You are getting so big and your personality is starting to shine through-we are so in love with you Caden!

You are truly a joy. Your smile lights up through your eyes and your giggle is precious. It's funny what things will make you smile. We can make funny faces and noises and get some good smiles out of you, but just a few days ago looking at your cousin Austin gets you to light up, and he doesn't even have to do anything! (I need to capture that over Thanksgiving now that I think about it...)

So, whats new:

• You now weigh 12 lbs
• You got mommy to be on a dairy free (for the most part) diet because dairy seems to be bugging you

Side note: You gave us a scare and had blood specs in your dirty diapers. Our Dr. recommended us to a specialist and the conclusion was that you most likely have a dairy allergy. Since having minimum-no dairy you haven't had any more blood-hooray! Talk about confusing for us, hopefully it doesn't last forever for you.

• You won't take a bottle with the new Similac formula that is for food allergy, not even with only one ounce of formula and the rest breast milk, you still were NOT having it. In your defense the stuff reeks so I'm guessing the taste isn't that great...maybe we'll try again soon, it's pretty demanding being the only food source. Good thing you're more than worth it :)
• You roll over from side to side a lot, especially while playing on your play mat
• You still like going for that thumb of yours
• You somehow manage to turn yourself around in your crib. We'll lay you down one way and you'll be flipped the other the next time we go to get you
• You may or may not be teething already. When you don't get your thumb you still like to naw at your fist or pointer finger. You get it good enough to make it red and to even annoy you sometimes it seems. Just a day or two ago I noticed little marks on your pointer knuckle and yesterday noticed a longer and more distinct cut above your knuckle. That led me to feel your gums and sure enough on the top you have a little rough area. Lucky for you Uncle Toby is a dentist and we see him Thursday for Thanksgiving so hopefully he can look at it and give us some more guidance. You're younger than most teethers and usually the bottom breaks through first-but early bird catches the worm right? We'll see...
• You sleep great. Not as much naps, those vary, but at night you'll take either four ounces of a bottle, or me and some bottle during the week now that I'm back at work, and then you're in your crib and off to sleep (sometimes a bit of chatter before) for a good while. Last night you slept 8:45 p.m.-5:00 a.m. You are a rockstar sleeper little man! (knocking on any and all wood as I say that...)
• When you do wake up from a nap you'll cuddle with me for a good 10 minutes before you fully wake up. I love it. Mommy needs some extra time to fully wake up too-no shame in that :)
• You love your mobile now. Some mornings if you get up early we'll feed you and lay you back in bed to watch your mobile and it will keep you entertained for 30 minute to an hour. So fun to watch you smiling and watching it.
• You like to sit up 'on your own'. We still hold you around your waist but you love to just look around while sitting out more independently.
• You're finally filling out your 0-3/3 month clothes and looking adorable in them of course!
• Right before you turned 3 months I had to go back to work and you started with day care. Aunt Erin watches you Mon & Tues, Katelyn watches you Wed & Thurs and YaYa watches you Friday. So far you have done great and they just shower you with love, which makes me feel good and secure while being away from you.

You have been so fun. We cannot wait to experience your awesome personality more and more as you get older.

We love you dearly, Caden.

Strong Enough

Strong Enough by Matthew West came on the radio today while I was running a quick errand with Caden. I've heard it before and loved it, but had forgotten about it. This song helps me remember it's okay to lean on God and be honest with him about your struggles.

Two verses in it really hit home. 'Hands of mercy won't you cover me, Lord right now I'm asking you to be strong enough for the both of us' and 'I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength'. The second is from Philippians 4:13. If there is one thing my mom taught me that I remember and have never quit using, it's that verse.

You know how God seems to sneak in the perfect songs, phrases and people into your life when you need it the most? So glad he does that. I've noticed it multiple times-I'll be going through something and on the radio they hit that exact topic. Not only did this song come on, but the station (K-LOVE/99.1) also hit on the topic of trusting God in the situations he has put you in and know that you are there for a reason. I constantly have to remind myself of that one as well.

Well, as I return back to work tomorrow I definitely don't feel strong enough to take on this new phase without God's help. It's hard 'giving up' taking care of our son full time. I have a very selfish feeling that that's my job, my baby and I don't want to share. I know-flash back to kindergarten. BUT at the same time that those feelings sweep over me I think about the amazing women God has blessed us with who are helping care for our son. We couldn't be luckier or more grateful. I know he will be showered with love and don't have any doubt in them. Just breaks my heart thinking I'm going to miss out.

At the same time, I am a little eager to get back into the work environment. Being a stay at home mom is not easy, even when I've had the best days full of smiles and cuddles it still can be draining and a bit exhausting. I hate even saying that because my love for Caden is so strong that it sounds contradicting to that-but it's just the truth about caring for a baby/child no matter how strong the love.

Either way, today we stayed in our scrubs and got lots of cuddling in while we could. I have loved my time with Caden, this experience and blessing of being a new mom has been eventful to say the least. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I will continue to look forward to seeing my little man after work, and not taking any of our time for granted.

Prayers for our little boy, to the outstanding ladies who will be helping us and watching him, and (being selfish) to me for this new adjustment. Amen, amen, amen.