There's Beauty in the Breakdown

Amen to that. No one loves to admit to a breakdown, and mine wasn't crazy, just a good long cry in my husbands arms. So needed and overdue. I had been more than putting it off. Especially this week (and yes, it's only Wednesday) I felt like I had put such a guard up and have felt so nasty and negative. I just needed to let go.

These early contractions have been happening off and on since 34 weeks. Now talk about confusing, and mentally/physically draining. A college friend got married this last Saturday, and her sister-in-law is due a week before me and has been having early contractions as well. It was so nice to vent and swap stories.

I've had so much support throughout this pregnancy and especially now, and it is very much appreciated. But it was nice to have someone, even if it was a short visit and a new acquaintance, to be on the same page with.

Looking forward to our appointment tomorrow to see if any further progress has happened (I sure feel like it!), but really having to try to ground myself with the reminder of my actual due date-and the possibility of adding a week onto that. If I don't do that I think I'll lose my mind. (May have partially lost some of it already...)

This is what I also need to continue to remember. I've been sending up an ample amount of prayers the last few weeks. I've even recently sent up a few selfish ones, which I really try to avoid. I always remind myself, God has a plan and he never gives us more than we can handle. But yeah, I snuck in a few 'PLEASE!!!!' prayers...desperate times call for desperate measures. And not that this is really a desperate time, but amidst the discomfort it feels like it.

All in all, after a good cry, nice walk with Gary, thankfully I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Why must we always try to be strong, bottle it up, and hold it all in as if no one else can help or bear the burden? Definitely something I need to work on.