Money, Money, Money

Finances.

Alright. I'm dropping the mic there and letting you draw your own, likely reasonable, conclusions to this post.

What do most couples fight about? Sex, Finances and I forget the third, maybe sex again, I don't know.

Gary and I don't really fight. Twice recently Caden has gotten onto us saying, 'Guys! Are you fighting?!' when once we were teasing each other on different opinions, pure fun, and second when we were talking about another topic with enthusiasm. No fighting and kind of odd that he's catching onto that when it's not really in his surrounding much.

I guess it depends how you define fighting. We get at odds, and sometimes I'd like to push him right over and rant on and on about all the things I am certainly right about and have no wrong...but, we haven't had long lasting battles. God has really worked through us in this area, helping us grow to be humble, forgiving or ask forgiveness, and move on. And, well, being at odds just sucks so we try to get back on track sooner than later to help our whole world feel more in line.

But, we went against the typical advice the other night and went to bed mad. After ending on a bad note we didn't speak the rest of the night and felt at odds into the next morning and MAN I just hate that.

Throws me off in all areas. Makes me feel frustrated and off with the kids even and blah.

We put on our happy-ish faces for church, which thankfully throughout softened our hearts and helped break the tension.

I dare you to hold hands during a sermon, while in a tiff, and not feel some sort of conviction and stupidity to the nonsense anger. There-all differences solved. Just find a sermon to hit up and hold hands. #worldpeace

Okay back at it-We later spear headed the conversation and moved on, Whew. And...it all was wrapped around finances.

It's been on our mind for what's next for us for a while now. Another baby sometime? Finish Gary's masters work? Sell/buy bigger home? Win the lotto? Could ya'll lift up that last one in prayer, because it's obviously top priority here. Prioritizing is my thing.

Just wondering, without trying to wonder. If that makes sense. Trying to hand over control and over thinking of the tomorrows to God, but also being responsible to have a reasonable game plan.

So. Current game plan now is to legitimately have our goal set and in mind to save up to move. Because if the first question ever does come into play, more space would be appreciated. And we can't do schooling and saving to move at the same time, so what do we want to work towards? We landed on home.

Education is key, and important, but also costly and with all the craziness right now who knows the benefit of it at this moment. Yada Yada, there's my defensiveness thinking about some pre-judging possible thoughts.

SO YEAH. Tight budget. Already messed up a bit. Hence the tension and breakthrough and here we are going to try Option A, then if we can't be honorable to that, Option B towards savings and living within our means.

BUT here's the deal, I know, finally. And, shocker mixed with dejavu. I got out of the word and out of prayer for two days. Over which our version of the turds hit the fan and we got in a funk.

Two days. People, that's all it can take and here that's all it did take. It wasn't until this evening that I had a constant tug about doing the study days I had missed, even though evening study isn't my normal, so I did. And BAM. Right in my face two topics hitting the exact area that I am struggling with and wasn't giving up control over.

First study went over Matthew 6:25-34. Highlighting verses 33-34, of that verse 33 is on my fridge-right in front of my stinking face, yet I chose to ignore it and look past its significance and realness.

'But seek first His kingdom & His righteousness & all those things will be given to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.'

Through Matthew 6:25-34 God gives a multitude of reasons to not be anxious. John Piper points out in this study to not just call God's reasons simplistic, but call it grace. BELIEVE HIM!

Take every reason and preach it to your sole as true. Remember His words, remember His promise, His reasons and don't let them sit by the waste side wishing they would be heard and put into use when they are just dying to shout a saving song into your heart. Let them reign in your soul, let them be true, let them save you from Satan's lies and deceit that he loves to tangle you in causing issues between you and your spouse, you and your family, you and God.

Secondly, what does it mean to serve God?

Am I serving Him in a way that is calling attention to Him as an authority figure and not a treasure? Am I doing what He says in a way that shines glory on the giver?

Serving gladly, not anxiously, trusting in God through serving Him-He will supply our needs. Know that our needs are not always our wants. We have vision the size of a mustard seed compared to His.

It doesn't mean when we come up to our weekly spending, bills, so forth, that I won't yet again have to fight myself in giving that trust to God.

To stay humble. To purposefully avoid things that may lead me to feel discontent. To focus on all the big and little things around me to keep me grounded.

This feels a bit repetitive, but I could not ignore the way God chose to shout out the reminder that He was there, patiently waiting for me to knock, yet I had my back turned towards His door looking to make sure I didn't miss anything on my own yet.

So. I share. Repetitive or not, our same issues will be as such, and here was our current that as much as I hated we went through, I am glad we did.

We have a plan. We have a backup plan, because, duh. But most importantly, we have the first of each day to stop and focus on the mission of God over our mission of home/kids/schooling/life.

And right here, I could really use the hands up in the air, arm muscle, and peace out emoji's...